Remembering Mum...

It isn't that long ago that I was sitting here writing a post about remembering Papa. As a matter of fact, it's just been a little over 5 months since Papa died. And now here I sit writing a post about remembering Mum. Mum passed away on May 16th and it's still too hard to believe. I feel like I just got used a new normal with Papa gone and now I once again have to get used to a new normal. The only part of this that has been easier is that Mum gets to be with Papa now. That is the only place she has wanted to be since he has been gone and I'm so glad that they are with Jesus together now. I feel good about the time that I got to spend with her before she passed away. All 3 of my kids got to see a week before she passed away and she of course had money and kisses for each of them. I was glad they got to remember her that way. She was passed away in her sleep peacefully and without suffering and for that I am so thankful.
It's truly been a roller coaster of emotions since December. From my grandfather passing away to the excitement of us finding out were were having a baby (and all the sickness that has gone on with that!) to now my grandmother passing away. Yes, I know that God knows what he is doing but these have been difficult days. I got to speak at my grandmother's funeral and I was honored to do so. I felt it helped me to get my thoughts down on paper and let others know who she was and what kind of a life she lived. It helped give me closure. Her services were beautiful. She was truly celebrated and honored for the life she led. The hardest part of all of this is that my grandparents have been there for everything. Graduations, weddings, dedications, church plays, birthday parties, etc. and now they are both gone. It's a lot to swallow. People say "Oh, they lived a long and good life." Yeah, that's what makes it so hard...I have had them in my life for so long. They have been there every step of the way and now they are not here. It's truly the end of an era and the closing of a chapter. And now I must get used to the "new normal." Thank you for letting me get my thoughts out there. This is what I spoke at my grandmother's funeral:

Mum always reminded me of one of the first things I said as a child. “I wanna talk.” Those of you who know me, know that that only makes perfect sense. But little did I know how much I would enjoy simply sitting and talking with Mum over many cups of tea. One of my favorite memories is the hours we spent together talking while I put a vintage scrapbook together for her and Papa. She would tell me about the people in the pictures and share with me many of the memories that she had of those people. That scrapbook is more than just a book of pictures to me now.

Now “I wanna talk” may have my saying but we all have heard many “Mumisms” over the years. “And go”, “Who comes, comes”, “To each is own.”…just to name a few. But recently it occurred to me that many of her sayings weren’t just sayings but were a way of life for her.

Often when you asked Mum what she was doing, she would say, “I’m busy as a bee.” My kids have picked this one up from Mum. But if you knew Mum, she wasn’t busy just to be busy. She was busy with a purpose. She was making cookies for someone, she was taking care of Papa or preparing for one of her grandchildren to come over for a cooking lesson (usually Lauren!) . When she was busy as a bee, she was meeting the needs of others.

“That’s the story” could often be heard at the end of a phone conversation with Mum. It amazes me that though Mum never owned a computer (although, I have to tell you…I did see evidence that she was skyping just last week from the hospital to her granddaughter Gina) or had a Facebook or Twitter account, she always knew the story. Why? Because she asked…she asked how work was or how your classroom was going. She asked how your trip was. She asked about your in-laws and always asked about the kids. She would be sure to have Papa dial the phone for her when she knew one of the kids was sick to see how they were doing. She taught me to care about others and what was going on in their lives. I suppose when you know what’s going on with others, you know how you can help to meet their needs…

Over the past few years, I think we can all agree that one of our favorite “Mumisms” has been “Oh, you’re good!”. This came from the fact that she was so taken with the saying “I’m good” that she heard from the visitors in her home. I remember having to explain to Mum what “I’m good” meant. She couldn’t understand why the response wasn’t “I’m all set” or “No, thank you” instead. But Mum always made sure everyone who came into her home was “good”. That they were good with enough to eat, enough to drink and that they were comfortable. This week as I have taken some time to reflect on what Mum has meant to me and as I think about where she is now, I can’t help but picture her sitting with Papa in heaven (over some eggplant parmesan no less!) with a smile on her face looking down here on all of us saying, “I’m good.”

Mum, thank you for all the ways you spoke into our lives and probably didn’t even know it. We love you and will miss you greatly.

If you click on the link below too, you can see the slideshow that we made for her wake.

http://animoto.com/play/mtT9xiC0AyorkBz35ReIEQ